Life According to Logan
by iknowuknow
Summary: Formerly "Career Day," now a collection of one-shots from Logan's point of view.
1. Career Day

Logan's real voice, so it may be a bit choppy.

* * *

"Hi. I am Wogan Wassita, and dis is my daddy Detetive Cawotin Wassita. He works for the powice."

It's job day, and Daddy came to talk to my whole entire class about his job! I'm trying to do my best talking 'cause Daddy is important.

"Don't you mean the po_l_ice," Bobby Coleman says at me in his stupid voice.

Bobby and George Green tease me 'cause I'm the only four-years-old in first grade. I'm smart and I can read and write my name and count and all the kindergarten stuff, so Daddy and the school said I could skip. I was a three-years-old in first grade, but then I had a birthday three weeks ago. Daddy says I'm gonna graduate high school early like Mommy. She was only 16, and I'm gonna be only 15. Daddy says maybe they might let me skip more grades, though. I had to take this weird test where they said I have something called a IQ that says I'm smart. It's 157, which Daddy says is almost as smart as Einstein. He sounds cool.

Dad says I'm a genius and a prodigy. I can speak three languages plus sign language, and can read them, too. I'm also good at other stuff. I helped my cousin Isaac who's nine on his homework. He's in fourth grade. Mommy says maybe she will let me skip to fourth grade next year, but maybe not, too. She's scared of the bigger kids being mean.

My cousin Iris who's my same age is in Kindergarten. She's only a little more little. My mommy gave her some stuff I had but in pink, and a few clothes that stopped fitting me and stuff. Auntie Karen always knew about me 'cause Mommy had to tell her. I think Daddy always did too... I don't remember but he was there as long as I could remember.

Daddy is my favorite person ever in the whole wide world. He knows everything! Also he catches bad guys.

"This is a .45 calliber semi-automatic pistol," Daddy tells them. They wouldn't let him bring in the real ones, so he got pictures instead.

"Daddy can shoot a moving tawget fwom a hundwed yawds away," I tell them. I'm proud of my Daddy. He's awesome.

Mommy is gonna be here after to get us. Daddy is the last speaker of the day, and then we get to go home. I'm excited.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Three Years later ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My daddy is coming for career day again. He comes every year. Bobby and George can't tease me anymore, though, because I tutor their older brothers. I love when my daddy comes to career day. He treats me like me, and everyone stays nice to me. I didn't choose to be this smart, but I don't need to be looked down on either. I know I'm the youngest kid in the whole school. I get that it's weird to have a classmate half your age. I start ninth grade next year, and I'm barely seven.

My little sister is almost three and in Kindergarten, though. My little brother Lucas is already talking in sentences at 11 months old. This is the norm in our house. My mom and dad happen to be so smart that they bred geniuses. My siblings aren't quite as smart as I am, but they are still brilliant. I skipped grades 2,3,5, and 6. My sister already skipped straight to kindergarten. It happens to us.

They still don't let my dad bring his actual guns in. He's also no longer allowed to teach students how to arrest each other anymore. People were getting hurt.

I want to be a cop when I grow up. My dad says they can't hire me until I'm 16, so I'm gonna get a few Bachelors degrees before I go to the academy. Dad says if I take them online, they will cost less. I'm going to do both. I'm also going to test out of as many classes as I can. I'm excited to see what the future holds, and excited to be just like my Daddy when I grow up.


	2. Pets

"Kitty cat, kitty cat, going to get a kitty cat," my sister sings.

Lilly is three. My mom decided that since Lilly's going into preschool soon, we should get her a cat. My uncle, his name is Shawn, usually watches Bear, and she okayed it with him to get a new animal.

Bear is my puppy. Mom got him for free, and convinced my dad to let us keep him. They didn't tell me so, I just know. The city doesn't pay them enough to afford a purebred black Labrador Retriever, and it would never have been my dad's idea. He and animals don't always get along. Bear gets along okay with him, but they generally avoid each other. Bear is my dog, and my responsibility. I may be six, but I'm also about to enter eighth grade. But that's a different story.

Daddy's saving up to buy a horse. There's a horse rescue in Garden Grove offering an adult female Palomino named Baby for fairly cheap, and he almost has enough. He's so excited, he built a stable. It's in Uncle Henry's yard. They have a deal; Dad gets the yard to keep the horse, and Uncle Henry gets the manure to use as fertilizer in his garden. I think Dad got the better end of the deal.

We just got to the animal shelter. Mom has to carry my little brother, so she can't herd Lilly in. That's why I help. Lucas is only ten months old, so Mom is usually pretty occupied. Since Lilly is so little, she doesn't always listen very well. That's where big brother Logan swoops in. I'm holding her hand so she doesn't run ahead. Mom didn't even have her carseat unbuckled before she tried to get out! By the way, sitting next to carseats sucks. It's squishy and painful. Most eighth graders get to ride in the front, but since a kid under 12 can't legally be in the front seat, I don't. We don't break the law in this family.

"What are you looking for, little boy?" some woman wearing too much perfume asks.

"Please don't patronize me," I reply.

"What a big word for a little boy," she remarks. I just roll my eyes. Dad taught me it's a good solution until I'm old enough to carry a concealed weapon.

"Wogan, wook at da kitty bwudda! I finded a kitty!"

Lilly is pointing at a large adult rat.

"That's a rat, Lil."

She shakes her head, and points at a Chinese Crested. "Wat."

"That's a doggie."

She looks confused. "Wooks wike a wat."

I nod, then lead her to the cats. "These are kitties."

"Kitties! Mommy, mommy, wook! Wogy found da kitties!"

"That's great, Lil."

My mom looks tired. I'll get us out of here.

"Look, Lil. Isn't she cute?" I ask, pointing at a Calico.

She nods emphatically. "Mine."

"Have you made your wittle pick you wittle cutie pie?" the annoying lady asks us in baby talk.

"With all due respect, ma'am, we are humans. Please stop speaking your alien language, and don't refer to my sister as a sugary treat."

The woman looks suitably taken aback, so I feel I've done my job.

My mom is laughing. "Stand down, Logan. He gets that from his father."

The lady looks less amused.

"What are you going to call her?" Mom asks.

"Kobe," Lilly replies.

"That's kind of a boy's name, but it's your cat, I guess."

I can't help but laugh.

* * *

"Fwooooogy," my little brother shouts, bouncing in his carseat. Logan just turned one, and Mom decided to get him a pet he can watch. She decided on a toad.

Daddy and I are going to have the honor of feeding it and keeping the tank clean. It wasn't something either of us would have chosen to do, but Mommy is stubborn and it's best to stay on her good side.

Daddy and I agree that spending $50 on a pet you can't do anything with is silly, but Mommy has some idealized vision of how perfect this will be. She keeps citing the difference in cost of upkeep for a dog or cat, and a toad. I think it's a silly idea all the same.

The Firebelly Toads are $6, and they need a tank, aquarium rocks, a filter, and a land spot. It all adds up to $49, and Lucas lets it go as soon as he gets the container. Now we're chasing a toad around the parking lot.

Lilly caught it. Or rather, Lilly decided to lie down on the ground, and it she caused a significant enough roadblock for Daddy to catch it.

Lucas just keeps laughing and clapping. Brothers.

* * *

I'm 15 and have two Bachelor's degrees, and I'm still getting dragged along to this. Lilly, who's eleven, had some big project to do. I'd go back to 8th grade with her if it meant getting out of this. At least Lucas got dragged along.

Liam, the little surprise yet not accident that came into our lives three years ago, is yapping on about something none of us can understand. He seems to be a sports prodigy, but he's not overly smart. He's smart, but it's pretty average smarts. He seems to think if he talks about it enough, it will happen sooner.

Mom is getting him a dog. An adult female Jack Russel named Scout, to be exact. We're picking it up from my Aunt Lauren's as we speak. She belonged to my aunt's coworker who's just moved into an apartment. We have a big yard, so it's a better place for her.

Still, I wouldn't trust a kid who tries to ride _my_ dog, with a dog of his own. Especially one he can actually get on top of.

Well, reader, wish us luck. We're going to need it.


	3. Family

I'm getting bored. I'd spice it up by pulling a "Where do baby's come from?," but I think Uncle Shawn might actually tell me. I get the feeling I don't want to know. I know that stork stuff is a load of baloney, and I think my parents are involved. I see no giant birds, and I'm told the baby is in her tummy. Uncle Gus promises she didn't eat it, but I didn't even ever _think_ she did!

"Uncle Shawn, Uncle Gus, can we see the baby soon?" I ask, looking at them sitting on both sides of me. This blue chair is uncomfortable. I think I hate hospital waiting rooms.

Shawn shrugs, "I dunno, Lassie Jr." That's what he calls me. He points to the double doors. "Why don't you go ask your Aunt Lauren?"

Uncle Gus just went white. I didn't know he could do that! "Nobody told me she was coming," he tells us.

"She's his sister, Gus, why wouldn't she be here?"

"I haven't seen her since we kissed at that department picnic. What do I say?"

I don't think he even heard Uncle Shawn talk. Aunt Lauren's heels are clicky like Mommy's. She looks fancy.

"Sorry I'm late. Did I miss anything? I was at a film showing in Glendale. I may have broken a few laws, but don't tell my brother."

"We won't," Uncle Gus promises.

"I like the suit. Is it new?"

Uncle Gus nods and thanks her. His face is all red for some reason. "I just came from work."

She smiles, then frowns as her phone beeps. "My mom is going to be here in half an hour, so I hope for everyone's sake Juliet has the baby soon."

I don't really get what Aunt Lauren means, but I do know Grandma Lassiter is kinda scary. Her girlfriend, Grandma Althea, is super nice. I hope she comes, too, 'cause she brings me presents.

"Lassiter family?" asks a lady in matching purple pants and shirt. I think she's a nurse.

"That's us," Aunt Lauren tells her.

"Congratulations on a new baby girl." Finally some excitement! I've been bored since they picked me up from school. "You can go visit now if you like."

Horray! Mommy's in a bed with Daddy next to it when we get there. Uncle Shawn lifts me up to them. "Congrats, Lassie."

"Logan," Mommy tells me, "Meet your baby sister. This is Lillian Margaret Lassiter."

I smile at her, but I still think Logan Timothy Lassiter is a way better name. She is pretty cute, though.

* * *

My sister refuses to go in the building. Uncle Shawn shouldn't have brought Pineapple - that's his yellow Lab - to the hospital. I know what's all going on. I'm six, in the eighth grade come September, and I've been here before. Lilly, on the other hand, is two and only just mastered potty training. She wants to be a cat when she grows up for pete's sakes! But Uncle Shawn shoulda known they wouldn't let him bring his dog into the hospital, and he also should have known my animal-lover sister would never leave with a dog nearby.

Uncle Shawn is tickling her and playing with her. He's a guy, so I don't expect different. My sister's gonna be a heartbreaker when she grows up. She looks like Mommy, blonde haired and button-nosed, but with Daddy's deep blue eyes. She's adorable now, and that's never going to change.

Lawson's here this time. So is Gus Spencer. We're pretty sure this is the last kid, so everybody wanted to be here together. I should probably clarify. Those are my cousins. Some of them, anyway. I've only met Peter once, and we're still not sure if Uncle Vic is alive or has any kids. Lawson Guster is three years old, and named because it means "son of the law," and Uncle Gus and Aunt Lauren never would have met were it not for their shared connection to the police department. Gus Spencer is one, and he's Shawn's son. He reconnected with a girl named Abby Lytar about a year after I moved here at a class reunion. They started dating just after Lilly was born. Now Aunt Abby teaches Kindergarten at my school. Lilly is gonna be in her class in September.

Gus is shouting things at us. He can't talk yet minus a few words, so it's mostly nonsense. "Gabahadashata anadota Momma Dadda anding hio fronono doggie."

I just nod at him and let him crawl around me in circles. He looks like Aunt Abby, but he got Uncle Shawn's nose. It doesn't fit his face, which makes him cute like a puppy. I don't know why, but Gus loves me. Lawson generally plays with Lilly, but Gus just crawls after me wherever I go. They let me hold him sometimes if I'm careful. Lawson looks like Uncle Gus, but his hair is a little lighter. The baby, who I guess I didn't mention, looks more like Aunt Lauren. Lavender is more tan, though, and her hair is like her Aunt Joy's hair.

Ooh! A doctor came out to get us! It's a boy! I wonder what my little brother will be like. Mommy and Daddy are calling him Lucas Carlton Lassiter. I can't wait for him to grow up so I can play with him!

* * *

I don't remember being so annoying at six. Lucas is really getting on my nerves. Uncle Shawn didn't come this time. My cousin Jeffery, he's three, has a cold, and my five-year-old cousin Jason has chicken pox. Aunt Lauren brought Gus along, though. Gus is seven, and he doesn't follow me around anymore. He mostly hangs with Lucas and causes trouble. Uncle Shawn didn't just have three boys, he also ended up with one way more trouble than he ever was from what I hear from Uncle Henry. He loves his grandson, but we all know Gus is trouble. Especially teamed up with Luke. Luke likes to do the opposite of what you tell him to. He looks just like Dad, but he sure doesn't act like him.

Aunt Lauren is trying to keep the two of them in check while also listening four-year-old Leroy read. I'm helping Lawson on his homework. He's doing fifth grade work even though he's only nine. He goes to Meitner. Uncle Gus finally went back to school and got his PhD, so he's finally a doctor and can afford it. That's why he couldn't be here for the birth of his hopefully last neice.

They found Uncle Vic in South America. It turns out I have three more cousins, but none of them are US citizens.

Aunt Karen is here this time, though. Iris, she's a few months younger than me, is putting makeup on Lilly and Lavender. Lavender is only a few months older than Lucas, but they don't really hang out. Chris Vick, he's almost six, is playing with Cameron McNab, who just turned five last month. Uncle Buzz is in charge of the station while Mom and Dad are here, but Aunt Francie came.

In case you hadn't guessed, we're outside. The nurses kicked us out. I'm carrying Benji. He's my youngest cousin, and Uncle Buzz's baby. He's one, and super cute. I can tell he's gonna be big like his dad because none of his features fit his face.

I'm missing school for this, so I hope Mom has the baby soon. Not that it really matters. I'm double majoring in Criminal Justice and Psychology, but Harvard Law already accepted me. I took my LSATs a little early, and every law school in the United States wants me to attend on a full scholarship. My dad is really proud of me.

Oh! The nurse just announced my little... brother? We thought we were getting a girl. Mom and Dad were going to name her Liah. That's not the only surprise, either. My new little brother has shockingly red hair! I guess the Scottish and Irish blood were bound to breed a redhead at some point. He's cute. His little red hairs are curly, and his eyes are green.

"Do you have a name for him?" I ask.

Mom and Dad shake their heads.

"How about Liam."

Mom smiles, "I like it!"

" We can call him Liam James Lassiter, after your grandfather," Dad puts in.

I can't help but pat myself on the back for a job well done. And possibly pray to all that is holy I won't have any more siblings.

* * *

In closing, the families:

Shawn and Abigail Spencer: Gus, Jason, Jeffery

Gus and Lauren Guster: Lawson, Lavendar, Leroy

Karen Vick: Iris, Chris

Buzz and Francie McNab: Cameron, Benji, Shawn (not in this chapter)

Carlton and Juliet Lassiter: Logan, Lilly, Lucas, Liam

* * *

Baby Lilly: s1211 then photobucket and dot com then albums/cc429/alisecrit/My%20Kid%20Got%20Kidnapped / Screenshot-30. jpg

Logan at 6: s1211 then photobucket and dot com then albums/cc429/alisecrit/My%20Kid%20Got%20Kidnapped / Screenshot-45. jpg

Lilly at 2: s1211 then photobucket and dot com then albums/cc429/alisecrit/My%20Kid%20Got%20Kidnapped / Screenshot-36. jpg

Lucas: s1211 then photobucket and dot com then albums/cc429/alisecrit/My%20Kid%20Got%20Kidnapped / Screenshot-84. jpg

Lilly at 8: s1211 then photobucket and dot com then albums/cc429/alisecrit/My%20Kid%20Got%20Kidnapped / Screenshot-66. jpg

Lucas at 6: s1211 then photobucket and dot com then albums/cc429/alisecrit/My%20Kid%20Got%20Kidnapped / Screenshot-302. jpg

Liam: s1211 then photobucket and dot com then albums/cc429/alisecrit/My%20Kid%20Got%20Kidnapped / Screenshot-296. jpg

That's all I could get to load, but you could prolly find some others if you look in the album. I just can't seem to get them labeled.


	4. Guns

**There might be some references to ****_Gus' Dad May Have Killed an Old Guy_**

* * *

Me and Daddy play with water all the whole entire day a'cause a three-years-old could play with water guns and Daddy likes guns.

We play cops and robbers and he says "Freeze, scumbag," when he's the cop a'cause he's a silly one. Daddy's bestest I swear it! If it was the times I get to be cop, I say, "Fweeze, scumdad," and Daddy laughs a lots. Daddy has the bestest laugh a'cause he only does it to me and Mommy. Daddy says I'm funny as him. He tells me stuff.

Johnny at the park wants to see Santa, but I don't support slavery. Daddy says we can stay up on Christmas Eve until event 10 a clock in the night! I get to help him stop Santa from breaking and entering. Daddy says since Santa is mean, water makes him melt like the Wicked Witch of the West. That movie is scary, but Mommy says tornadoes don't happen in Santa Barbara. She also says houses only fall on people if they fly from Kansas, and airplanes don't let houses ride. Daddy says witches like people as long as you don't eat too much candy and always say your prayers before bed and stuff. I'm good at that sortsa stuff. Too much candy makes my tummy hurty, and I throwed up on this guy called Shawn one time what's like my uncle a'cause he gave me so much candy, and it was really yucky feeling, and Daddy and Mommy was mad at him. Now a guy called Gus what's also like an uncle person watches me.

"Buddy, time to get your swimsuit on," Daddy yells out to me.

"Comin' Daddy!"

* * *

I got my first NERF gun! Woohoo!

"Just don't shoot it at your sister or your mother," Daddy warns. I'm six-years-old, I'm not an idiot! Plus there's the whole genius thing, but Daddy forgets that sometimes. Honestly, though, what business would I have shooting a pregnant woman or a one-year-old girl?

"It's my birthday party, Daddy, there's much better people to shoot!"

My friends are here. So are some of my cousins, Iris, Lawson, Gus, and Lavendar. Not that Lavendar really counts as one of the participants, or really the other two either. Lavendar just eats, poops, and sleeps. Lawson and my little sister, Lilly, are playing with my dog named Bear. Mom and Dad gave him to me a few weeks ago as an early birthday present. I just realized Daddy doesn't care if I shoot him! It is SO on!

"Daddy, think fast," I yell, shooting him. My friend Gary, he's six, too, and lives down the street, takes my lead. His little brother wants to play, but he can't. His name's Wally, and he shot all his foam darts at the TV. Daddy took the gun away, and that's what made Daddy fair game.

To clarify, I don't have tons of guns; I simply don't have many friends. Wally, Gary, and a kid named Sam who's eight are my only friends from the neighborhood. Brian and Jordan go to another school on the other side of the city, so I don't see them much. They're here, though, and I've known them a while. My friends from school are a ten-year-old sixth grader named Paul, and an eighth grader named Jamie. Jamie thinks I'm "adorable." She's 14, and I'm not actually certain she's my friend, after all. She's kind of spent the whole party trying to talk my dad into letting her babysit us. It's funny because she thinks my dad has any say whatsoever. Mommy's not making any move to rescue him, though, so I won't either. Not that Mommy lets anyone babysit us who isn't a good friend of hers, and over 18. Especially one as completely unprepared as Jamie. No offense on her, but I would have gotten my CPR and First Aid certificates before trying to convince anyone to let me babysit their kids. Especially when those parents are highly decorated members of the police force who deal every day with things that could go wrong.

"Duck, Logy!"

I must have gotten lost in my own thoughts, because Paul just took a bullet for me. I better get back in the game.

* * *

"Do not point it at _anyone_, shoot _only_ those pans-"

"Mom, I've got this! Quit worrying!"

It's not like Dad hasn't taken me shooting with a real gun before! I'm eleven-years-old, for gosh sakes! I'm in college! Really that's the only reason Dad and Uncle Buzz managed to _convince_ her I should get a BB gun. I've finally got her, though - my Daisy Red Rider. Dad says when I turn 18, he'll buy me a real rifle. Until then, I have to prove to Mom I'm reponsible enough for this. I have to be, though. I have two younger siblings, and Luke could and _would _shoot it given the chance, five-years-old or not. Lilly might destroy it, but that's about it. My parents have to keep even _their_ guns away from her. She doesn't like that we shoot squirrels for some reason. She thinks they're cute.

"Can I shoot the gun, Wogan?"

Lucas just turned five, and his speech is not perfectly clear yet.

"No, Lukey, you're too little."

"Daddy just sayed I can."

He just started Kindergarten, so his grammar is atrocious. Lilly's a little better, at least. She's in fourth grade, so she's learned a little bit of grammar.

"Lukey, are you lying again?" He's giving off obvious tells.

He shakes his head.

"Do I have to tell Mommy, Lukey?"

"No! No don't tell her! NO! Daddy didn't say so; I lied."

I thought so. My mom can be the sweetest person in the world, but you _don't_ want to make her angry. _Dad_ is easier to deal with, and certainly hands out less harsh punishments. Knowing Luke, he probably just finished a punishment and doesn't want to go back. He'll be back in trouble by dinner time, so I'll let him get away with lying to me.

* * *

"Lucas, back away," I warn, "I'll give you a turn in a second."

This is my gun, and he needs to respect that. Lucas is twelve, so Dad's been taking him shooting for long enough that he knows the basics. He's never shot a rifle, though. Dad and I only started practicing when I finished college, which was only about three years ago.

"Okay, you need to brace yourself, Lukey. Otherwise, this could really hurt."

"Okay, Logan, but I don't think you really have anything to worry about. Now let me do it myself!"

I just got elbowed in the stomach.

"OWWWWW!"

And it seems my brother just broke his collarbone. Sometimes, I think it would be easier to teach Liam to shoot! He may be a sports-obsessed six-year-old, but at least I can count on him to listen.

Well, off to the emergency room.


	5. Sick

One of my Kindergartners got me sick, so you get two chapters today. Also, he's three the whole time, so prepare for atrocious grammar ahead.

* * *

"Mommy, I don't feew so good."

Mommy's looking at the clock, and it must say something early a'cause she looks surprised. Mommy puts her hand on my forehead, then frowns.

"I think you have a fever, Logy," Mommy tells me as she yawns all big. "Was anybody sick around you?"

I dunno, so I tell her so with my shoulders.

"Wha's go'n on?" Daddy asks. "We st'll get t' sleep an hour."

I'm still trying to answer Mommy. "A boy at schoow coughed at me, does dat count? He mighta had a tickwe fwoat" (tickled throat)

Mommy is nodding. "Yes, he was probably sick."

I'm yawney, but I've been trying to go back to sleep forever!

"Do we take off work?" Daddy asks her.

She looks at the clock. "It's only 5 AM, I'll call the Chief in an hour and ask her what she suggests. I'm thinking either we set him up in the station, or we call Shawn."

"You know I would hate trusting Spencer with the care of a three-year-old. Too much margin for error."

"Well, he might be our only choice."

"What about Henry?"

"I don't really want to impose on him if we don't have to," Mommy replied.

"I'm too tired for this. Let's wait and see what Chief Vick says."

They're going back to sleep, so I'm gonna cuddle on Daddy's legs. They're long and comfy to lay on.

* * *

"...yeah... It's a fever, but I don't know how high... I'm not sure, but he may have during the night. I'll ask Carlton to check his bedroom... yes... okay... Carlton says he did... No, he's exhausted... Yes, in our bed fortunately... Has it really? ... Oh that's too bad... That would be great! I'm sure he would love that... I can do that. Thank you, Chief. See you in a few."

"What did she say?" Daddy asks.

"The flu is going around the school. Iris has it, too. She said her nanny is staying during the day to take care of her, and has no problem with us dropping Logan off."

"I get to see Iwis today?" I ask. I'm excited. I barely see her since she's only in preschool, but she's awesome and a great cousin!

Mommy nods. "She's sick, too. You have to be good for the nanny, okay?"

I nod to her. I know this stuff! "Could I wear my jammies?"

Mommy nods, "Yeah, we can go get you in jammies. Did you throw up on your jammies?"

I nod but I'm embarrassed. "I cweaned up gweat how did you know?"

"Daddy checked your bedroom."

That explains it! Mommy is leading me to my bedroom. I had to take off my superhero PJs a'cause I throwed up on them. I been in nothing but a Pull-Up. I hate these things, but Mommy says I gotta wear 'em to bed for in case. I been potty trained! I can't get on the big one, but I can use it! I been trained forever.

Mommy's letting me wear my _Cars_ jammies! Woo! Mommy does lotsa this stuff 'cause I been her son forever, but Daddy adopted me at only two months ago when they got married. I only knowed him for four months, but he's the bestest Daddy. I still gotta go see this dude what's also called Daddy, but his wife person doesn't like me. I gotta see him some, but I don't like him. Mommy says maybe when I get to be a five-years-old, I don't gotta go see him. She says if I wanna not no more than I can when I get to five and she'll tell a judger person. I might do that.

"Logy, c'mon. Time to go."

Woohoo, Daddy's taking me!

* * *

Iris likes my jammies. Hers are pink with puppies on them, and very soft. I love my cousin. She's coughey and sneezy and throwy uppy too.

"You're sure this is okay?" Daddy asks.

"It's not a problem, Mr. Lassiter. It will probably make her more bearable, actually."

"And this is your number, right?" He's showing her his phone.

She nods, "But my name is Elyse with an 'e' instead of that 'a' at the start."

"And you have my number? 323, not 525, right?"

"I got it, Mr. Lassiter, I can read your numbers."

"Okay." Daddy looks nervous. "I'll see you after work, buddy. Be good for Miss Elyse, okay?"

I nod. "We'we gonna be jus' fine, Daddy, no need to wowwy."

"Bye Uncow Cawoton!"

"Bye Iris."

And he's gone out the door. "Dis is gonna be the bestest sick day evah, Iwis!"

She nods. "Wanna see my hampser? His named Hammy in my room!"

I nod a lots what to make me dizzy but I wanna see. Iris has a cool room. It's purple with lots of fake flower stuffs, and she has a gazillion billion stuffies!

Hammy is a cutie hamster. We can't take him out, though, a'cause he might get hurted.

"Did you bwing Ta-Ta?"

I nod, and we go get my backpack. Ta-Ta is my favorite. He's blue and a bunny. Iris has a Ta-Ta what she calls Moki what's pink. Mine and hers is friends.

"Moki missed him."

"Hewwo, Moki, how is you today?"

"I's gweat, Ta-Ta!"

I put my Ta-Ta on my back. "I bwought GI Joes for da Bawbies!"

I go get them, and she gets the Barbies out. She's gonna be the Mommy doll and the girl doll, and I get to be the son doll and the Daddy GI Joe doll. The girl and the boy are cousins like us. She has a awesome house for them! They go solve cases a'cause they're awesome.

* * *

"Lunch time," nanny Elyse calls to us. We get soups with chickens and noodles.

"How many chickens do you want, Logan?"

"One chicken, siwwy! I'm jus a wittow kid!" Adults can be so wierd sometimes.

"Eat up, and then we're going to take a nap in the living room."

"Can we watch a movie?" I ask her.

She nods, "What movie?"

"Nemo," Iris tells her. I like that movie, too.

The babysitter person agrees. She must like it, too.

When we finsih eating, me and Ta-Ta go get Blankey, what's my blanket from Mommy and Daddy.

"Who's on your blanket, Logan?" the Elyse lady asks.

"Wightning McQueen," I tell her. She must be a idiot, a'cause everyone knows Lightning McQueen!

"Who's on yours, Iris?"

"Sweepin Booty."

How could she not know Sleeping Beauty either? She must not get out much.

I yawned. I'm a little tired.

* * *

I musta falled asleep, a'cause the movie ended. "Iwis, you awake?"

"Wogan?"

I nod, and do the shushy noise. "Wet's go supwise Ewyse!"

We sneak up all quiet to behinds of her in the kitchen.

"Boo!" *crash*

Oops, a plate breaked. I think we a'scared her doing dishes.

She picks us up and puts us at the living room. "Stay out of the kitchen until I get it all cleaned up, okay?"

We nod. That sounds easy enough!

"Wet's go do a puzzow," Iris suggests. I like puzzles, and she has cool ones. She has one of t-t-tran-sp-p-or-t-t-a-ti-on-tion. Transportation. That must mean cars and trains and busses and stuff a'cause that's what the pieces is. Daddy says I read real good. That was a hard word. Sometimes people in my class say c-c-cat, and that's a easy one! I'm in Kindergarten, but I'm gonna be in first grade. Daddy made them put me in event though I'm only three and school ends in a little bit. First grade said I gotta graduate Kindergarten, so Daddy had them put me in.

"That says twanspotason," I tell Iris. I'm trying to teach her to read, too, but she's not so good at it.

"Twanspotason."

She's getting there. We're doing the puzzle together.

"Logan, your dad is here," Elyse calls to us.

"Daddy!"

"Uncow Cawoton!"

"Did you guys have fun?"

We tell him we did.

I go get Ta-Ta, and Iris gets the puzzle.

"Twanspotason," she tells him.

"Good job, Iris! Still teaching her to read, Buddy?"

I nod. Daddy seems proud.

"C'mon, Buddy, time to go home," he tells me, grabbing up my stuff and me. "Bye Iris."

"Bye Iwis!"

"Bye Wogan! Bye Uncow Cawoton!"

Today was a good sick day indeed.

* * *

_"And that's a story about my best friend and I, even if it did happen when we were three" I finish, looking over my class. "We may not be into quite the same things any more, but she will, regardless, always be my best friend. Thank you."_


	6. Dates

My little sister has a crush on a boy in her class. His name is James Carstairs, and she thinks that's amazing because some boy in a book mom read her has the same name. They like to read fantasy books where vampires and werewolves are real. Dad and I read mysteries or science fiction. Lucas doesn't read, and not just because he's only in third grade. He knows how to read, he just doesn't like to.

I just don't get it, though, I guess. I see my classmates date, but they're adults. She's nine.

She says he's just a friend, but somehow I highly doubt that. She talks about him _all the time_. It's just incessant chatter about the guy! "James did this," "James said that," "James is the cutest boy in the whole world." She's so obvious.

It doesn't get any better, though. I'm a Sophomore in college, and I still hear girls saying "Oh, Dean's so cute," and "My boyfriend is SO HOT!" They annoy me.

James is coming over for a playdate, and she's getting all dressed up for him. Wish me luck.

* * *

Lucas is like a little player. Ten years old, and he's already had twelve girlfriends. He looks just like Dad, though. The difference is, Dad couldn't be more oblivious when girls flirt with him. Lucas, on the other hand, has dated half the fifth grade and most of the fourth. Right now, he's dating a sixth grader.

Lilly still has a major crush on James, though from what she's told me, so does half the seventh grade. He's two years older than her, and in eighth grade. I'm sure he likes her too, though, because half the middle school's got a crush on her. If Dad didn't have a license to carry, boys would probably be asking her out. As it is, though, most are too afraid. That cracks me up.

Liam, he's four, has a few little preschoolers who like him. He's adorable with his red hair and freckles, and his green eyes are pretty. Most of them just like that he's the fastest runner in his class, though.

I, meanwhile, have a dilemma. The only girl I've ever even liked is old enough to date, but she's also like family. I need my mom.

"Hey Mom," I start, coming up to her desk, "I have a dilemma."

I'm almost through my second year of law school, so I don't need her help much any more. I guess that explains why she seems so excited.

"What do you need, Logy?"

I look toward the Chief's office, then back at her, "Can we talk someplace private?"

She gets up, "Sure, we'll go in the conference room."

As soon as we get settled inside, I launch in. "I have a crush on a girl, and she's old enough to date, but she's kind of like family, so I dunno what to do, and-"

"Slow down, honey. What's going on?"

"I have a crush on Iris."

Mom's laughing. She's laughing! "What's so funny?"

"Nothing, sweetie. Just ask her out."

"Really? So it's not wierd or anything?"

"She's been your best friend your whole life, Logy, everyone's just been waiting for you to make a move."

"What?!"

"You look at her like a lovestruck puppy. It's obvious. Go ask her!"

So I decide to drive to her school and do just that.

As I'm leaving, I hear mom tell my Aunt Karen, "He's finally gonna ask her!"

I rush over to the school and to the spot where I always meet her for lunch. I may have graduated five years ago, but I won't get in trouble for being here. I look like I belong.

"Logan Lassiter, you are _late_!"

I laugh and hug her. "Stopped to see my mom. Where is everybody?"

"Annie and Brad went on a date, Lizzie is studying for a Chem test, Jake and John are on a family vacation, Mark is shooting hoops with a few kids from the varsity team, and the rest have volleyball practice."

"I don't miss high school," he told her.

She laughed, "I won't miss it either. One more year after this!"

I laugh, then get nervous.

"Why are you nervous?" she asks. I should have known she'd figure it out.

I decide to just lay my cards on the table. "Are you going to prom?"

"Well, I don't have a date."

"I'll go," I offer nervously.

She smiles, and kisses me. She kissed me! This is literally the best day of my life.

* * *

Lucas asked two girls to the Homecoming dance, and thinks he can balance them both. If Mom finds out, she's going to kill him. He's 14, and a Sophomore in high school. I feel bad for them, but they _are_ the one's stupid enough to date my brother.

Liam's eight, now, and starting to like girls. He's the fastest third grader in the school, though, and that's still more important to him. He also plays Little League, soccer, basketball, football, kickball, and he also does some competitive swimming. Liam likes sports. The funny thing is, that's gonna make a lot of the girls like him. Sports will probably always come first, though, for Liam. He wants to be in the Olympics some day.

Lilly and James finally started dating last year, right before he went off to college. She plans to follow him there next year, which shouldn't be too hard. She already got her acceptance letter from what I hear. Mom said it arrived in the mail last night, and Lilly called James right away.

Me? Iris and I got married. We may be young, but we've known each other twenty years. If we didn't already know each other inside and out by now, we never would. I graduated from Santa Barbara College of Law with honors, and now I'm working at a law firm near UCSB. We live in an apartment by campus with Bear and our new Pug named Wrinkles.

We finally started calling each others' parents Mom and Dad. It took a while. Lilly thinks it's awesome because Iris is now her sister-in-law, and Liam's under the impression we never weren't together. He's young. Lucas doesn't really care either way, but my brother-in-law's pretty thrilled. His name is Chris, and he's thirteen. Lawson says he called it. He's our cousin, and he's coming here next year. He got his acceptance letter early. He's entering in as a Sophomore, though, because he's graduating from Meitner.

Iris - my crazy wife - took 18 credit semesters and summer courses, so she's graduating a year early. The whole family is excited to attend this spring. Lilly is excited because it means she will get to spend extra time with James. I really hope this relationship works out for her; she's in _deep_.

All in all, I'm glad I took the chance, and I wish my siblings all the luck in the world on their future dates.


	7. Fatherhood

Daddy is awesome. I'm only four and I event know that! He took me to a baseball game with just me and him. Mommy's pregnant, so he got her a spa pass for the day. Uncle Gus told him a good one, but also told him Mommy should be careful a'cause Uncle Shawn likes to interupt spa days. He seems upset about it. Mommy told him to not hold a grudge.

Anyways, the baseball game is so awesome! We went and had good seats, and then Daddy got me a hot dog a'cause it's a baseball game and so we needed baseball game food. He says if I have a brother I could come with and tell him everything what happens! I hope for that. I don't like sports much, but playing catch with Daddy is awesome. If I had a brother, I wouldn't mind sharing.

* * *

I got a sister. I wanted a brother to play with, and I got a sister. She's a year old, so she needs a lot of attention. I guess a baby brother would too... Lilly's not so bad, though, I guess...

She looks like Mommy, which I think is pretty cool. I look like Mommy, too.

She seems to like me, and that's cool. I had a step-sister once with my binological dad, but he's not my dad no more. He didn't want to pay Mommy child support no more, so he terminated custody of me so Daddy could have me. I had to see him some last year when I was three and some four 'cause of the papers didn't go through until Mommy was already gonna have the baby soon. I'm not s'posed to know so don't tell Mommy and Daddy.

She's my real life sister of blood and stuff, so that makes her better than a stepper.

I get to hold her and feed her sometimes, and she's soft and warm and stuffs.

She's not perfect 'cause she cries and wears a diaper and stuff, but then she's cool so it's okay.

Anyways, I'm bored. Mommy is out with her friend Jamie, so it's just us and Daddy. He's not even paying all his attention at me! He's following her around with a camera and videoing her. Uncle Shawn and Mommy use their phones, but Daddy's got a real life video camera. Uncle Shawn is always taking pictures and videos of Lawson, who's almost seven. He babysits him when Uncle Gus and Aunt Lauren are working.

Ha ha ha she just fell in the dishwasher.

"Buddy, can you get her out? I have to capture this for your mom."

Duty calls.

* * *

Mommy's at Lil's ballet recital. She promised to take pictures for Daddy. He goes to all her tap dancing stuff, but he thinks ballet is unhealthy 'cause of what the dancers do to stay graceful and stuffs. That's why just Mommy goes.

We're going to a joke shop. They sell pranks and stuff. Lukie's only three, but he already plays pranks and stuff. Gussy helps him a lot of the time. Aunt Abby is pretty good at corraling them, but I think that's because she's a teacher.

"Stop squirming," Daddy tells him as he tries to buckle his carseat. I don't need one. I'm nine. I was the only kid still in a carseat in fourth grade, though. I was five.

Now I'm a sophomore in high school, even though my best friend is in fourth grade and only a few months younger than me. Most of my classmates are excited about taking a driving test, and I still like to watch Nickelodeon. I can't even watch half the shows they like! Even if I wanted to, my siblings are too little.

Daddy finally got him in the seat. Lukie doesn't listen very well.

"Alright, Lukie," Daddy says as he unbuckles him and lifts him out. "You've got ten dollars of birthday money from Grandma Mary Ann. I'll pay for tax, but you can't go over ten dollars. Logy will help you."

He puts Lukie down, and I lead him over to the shelves he can actually reach. I could lift him, but I don't really want to. If he sees something up higher than maybe, but I want him to stay on the floor if possible.

"Wow! Wook Wogy! It's a donkey!"

He found a donkey that poops.

Eventually, we leave with the donkey, two whoopie cushions, and a buzzer you strap to your hand. Lukie seems happy, so I'm happy too.

* * *

It's not that I don't love my little brother, but changing diapers sucks. I'm almost thirteen, so I don't really have a choice. Lil is 10, so she helps me out some. Luke keeps her busy, though. We watch them. Any other kids Dad might not trust, but I'm a sophomore in college, and Lil is already in middle school. The good news is that Dad will be home in 10 minutes. Mom has some plans with Aunt Lauren, Aunt Abby, and Aunt Karen. It means I get to ride my bike down to see Iris, though. We watch her brother Chris, who's six, and chill together. Aunt Karen got divorced four years ago, so she needs a lot of help. It didn't really end all that well. Chris still spends time with him, but Iris only sees him some weekends. He doesn't really like us much. Mom and Dad went to court on Aunt Karen's side, so he can't stand them or any of us.

On a lighter note, Dad's home. He comes right into the room. Dad loves kids, and Mom's a pretty big fan herself. They're planning to become foster parents once Lilly and I are both out of the house.

Dad's a sucker for little kids. Liam is four months old, and Dad can't get enough.

He picks up Liam and nods at me, "Be safe."

See ya!


	8. Sleeplessness

I can't sleep. Mommy should be coming 'cause I'm crying for her. I want my mommy. I'm tired. Also, I'm laying in squishiness. I need help.

Yay, Mommy is here! "Mama skish."

"Yep, you do need a change." She's picking me up. Woo hoo, now I'm being taken to the table! It takes away the squishiness. "Changig taybo"

"Yes, changing table. Good job, Logy!"

Wanna know what makes no sense? Iris is a baby I know who's only a little months younger than me. She can't talk none! I've been in the world for 9 months, but nobody like me talks!

"Alright, ready to go to sleep?"

I shake my head. "You bed."

She's smilie at me, and I think she agrees. We're going to her bed. It's squishy and big. It's just me and Mommy (and a babysitter called Carol and my friend's daddy). I don't know my dad so well. He lives away, but we visit sometimes. Mommy and him aren't together no more since he wouldn't move and didn't want me around until I can walk. I'm learning to stand without help, so maybe he'll like me soon. That's what Mommy says on the phone to Grandma, at least. She also says she hopes he doesn't fight for something called custody since she works and his new girlfriend doesn't. I hope I stay with Mommy 'cause I like her.

* * *

I can't sleep. I'm gonna ask Daddy for help. I like him 'cause he's cool and he likes me. My other daddy doesn't want me around no more. Daddy's gonna do something called adopt me 'cause the other one is signing a paper what says I'm not his no more. Then I get to have that name what's ended theirs.

I creep in quiet so they can't hear me coming, then jump up on Daddy. He's long, so I usually land right.

"Logan, what are you doing out of bed?"

"I can't sweep, Daddy. Dere's monstahs in my woom!"

"Is there? Why don't we go check."

I hop off the bed and Daddy follows me. He turns on the lights and checks everywhere. "I don't seen any monsters, bud."

"They're hide-n, Daddy!"

"Oh, I see. Listen up!" He's yelling now. "All of you monsters need to leave Logan alone, or I'll arrest you. Stay out of our house or we will prosecute to the full extent of the law."

Yay! Daddy saved me! No way any monsters are gonna mess with him!

"From now on, buddy, if you see any monsters just say 'I am Logan Lassiter, and you can't mess with me."

I like my name that way, so I'm smilie. "Yes! Go away monstahs!"

I'm safe now.

* * *

Mommy and Daddy are getting ready for a party, and I don't get to go. I can't even sleep anyways!

Mommy's doing her hair while Daddy shaves. I know just where to find them. They're getting ready for Uncle Shawn's 80s party, and they look kinda silly. Or at least Mommy does. She's got gigantic hair!

"Logan, we put you to bed half an hour ago," Daddy says in the I'm warning you face.

"I can't sleep, and why do I have to go to bed so early? I'm five, I'm not some little kid!"

Mommy seems like she's about to laugh, but she doesn't.

Daddy's smiling, "Well, let's have a little debate, then. Here's our argument. You need to sleep because you're a growing boy, and you need energy."

"I'm going into sixth grade next year, I think I can handle staying up late every once in a while. And every _Honkytonk Man_ needs a Whit, even if he is doing _Heartbreak Ridge_."

Mommy tried to argue that this really was supposed to be a kid-free party, but I got Daddy with that last part.

"We do have the right clothes from when he dressed up for that school play."

Mommy sighs, "I'll call Carol and tell her it's just Lilly tonight."

"YES!" I cheer. I'm going to an 80s party.

* * *

Lucas won't stop screaming! He may only be two, but I have finals tomorrow. I need my sleep. I exit to the hallway, and find even Lilly's disturbed. She usually sleeps like a bear in hibernation.

"Don't worry," I tell her, "I'll take care of it."

Mom and Dad are on a stakeout, and the babysitter's stupid boyfriend is here to distract her. I wish Carol hadn't graduated college and moved to Wisconsin. She's been around my whole life! She was just working full time at first, but after I left my mom convinced her to go to college and follow her dreams. So now she's a music teacher in Wisconsin with her new husband and their new baby. I don't grudge her the happiness she currently has, I just miss her. Stupid Kara treats me like a normal eight year old, and thinks we're all lying to her about my grade. She goes to my school! We have Biology together! Anyway, that leaves this mess up to me.

"Hi, Lukie," I greet as I enter his room. He throws a toy at me. Pretty typical Lucas.

"Use your words and tel me what's wrong."

"Wanna get babysitter. Wanna twick."

"You wanna trick her?"

He nods. Usually I wouldn't let him, but this girl is driving me up the wall. I don't like her.

"He gets to?" Lilly asks me from the doorway.

I nod. "We all do."

Both smile at me. I lift Lucas from his crib and set him down on the floor. "Alright, Lukie-Pookie, what's the plan?"

He walks over to his toy bin and pulls out three water guns, a pea shooter, a marshmallow gun, a slingshot, 14 small plastic toys, and his teddy bear. "Baya hewps wiff dis."

Baya is his stuffed bear. He got him a year and a half ago. When he tried to say "bear," it sounded like "baya" instead.

We pack up the stuff and creep down the hall. This is gonna be _awesome_.

* * *

I graduated today. Technically, I guess it was yesterday. I now have a Bachelor's in Criminal Justice. I graduated pre-law. I got accepted to law school over a year ago now, so I'm pretty excited about that. I was going to be a cop, or possibly FBI before I decided I wanted to have a life, but Mom told me I could do a lot more as a lawyer. I've already could probably be lawyer since I absorb what I read and have read a lot about it, but I have to get the degree.

Anyway, all my school friends went out partying. I couldn't have gone if I wanted to, as I won't be old enough to drink for another six years. I'm barely 15, after all.

Anyway, I can't sleep. Iris is over. She's asleep next to me, though. Not like in a weird way or anything like that. I do have feelings for her, but she's not allowed to date for another year. Besides, I'm pretty sure she'll always just think of me as a friend. Anyway, she's been my best friend since I was two and a half months old, so it's not a big deal that we share my bed for sleepovers. It's not like we're under the same covers or anything. I sometimes wish we were, but that's just the hopelessly in love part of me.

I don't want to disturb her, so I have to be very careful getting up.

I pad into the kitchen to find Mom drinking tea.

"Mom? What are you doing up?"

She looks up and I can tell she's been crying.

I rush over to hug her. "What's wrong, Mom?"

"You're just getting so big! It feels like yesterday that you were my baby boy, and now you're going to law school and you're so grown up... It's just hard. Most parents get 18 years before their kids even start college, and you graduated at 15. I'm just scared of losing my baby."

I almost laugh as I hold her close. I reached her height at thirteen, and now I'm taller than her. Mom's five foot six, and I'm 5'9" and not done growing. She can't really hold me anymore. "Mom, I'll always be your baby. I may be more grown up than most kids my age, but I'll always need my mom. And you _do_ have me until 18, Mom. I've still got three years of law school to go through."

She smiles at me. "I'll love you forever, Logy, Don't ever forget that."

I smile back and hold her close, "I won't, Mom."

* * *

I don't think I'm going to get any sleep tonight. I'm certainly tired, but also very worried. It's not the baby keeping me up. Janie's started sleeping through the night. She sometimes still wakes up, but she's been pretty good about sleeping through the night.

"Go to sleep, Loge."

"Iris? I thought you were sleeping, hon."

I can feel her head shake, as it causes some vibration though the bed. "Not really. What's got you up, babe?"

"I'm worried about Carl."

My five-year-old is at a sleepover party, and it scares me half to death. We've known Jennifer Lakewood for a long time, so it's not like he won't be safe at her house, but it still scares me.

"Devin, Maddy and Morgan are there, so I'm sure he's happy. You know Jenny's dad lives over the garage, and Rick Dobson still takes his job very seriously."

Devin Guster is my cousin Lawson's three-year-old son. Maddy and Morgan Carstairs are my sister Lilly's twin daughters. They're four. Her littlest, Jayden, is six months old. He's a cutie. My brother Lucas just got married last year, and his wife is eight months along. They don't want to know the gender, so we're all taking bets on what they're having. Janie's only eight months old, so no matter what the gender, he or she will have cousins to play with.

"I just worry about him, Iris. He's barely five."

Her cell is ringing.

"Hello?... Yes... We'll be right there, Jen." She turns to me, "Carl's not doing so well, so I guess you don't have to worry anymore. I've gotta call Lilly, 'cause the girls aren't doing so well, either nor is Dev. You can probably drop them off, but call Lawson to let him know what's going on."

"Can do." I can't help the yawn that escapes. I think once I get back home with Carl safe at home, I'll finally be able to sleep.


	9. Clothes

**Sorry it's been forever (and is short... might add more later)  
**

Nothing is better than my button ups. Uncle Shawn teases me about them, but only when Mommy's gone. They're friends, and so are he and daddy but they won't admit it. Mommy was afraid I'd get teased when I started wearing them. It was last year when I was in fourth grade. Bobby and George from first grade teased me from being little, so she was scared everybody would tease me more. I'm in seventh grade now, though, and nobody teases me. Paul, he's almost 10; we stick together. He's in sixth grade. We could handle ourselves any time. I taught him some stuff I know from my Daddy. After I beat up an eighth grader late last year - he was fifteen - who came to pick on us elementary kids, everybody leaves me alone. Mommy says violence isn't the answer ever, but Daddy says sometimes it is. I'm inclined to agree with him. It was probably funny to watch, though, 'cause I'm about 10 years younger than him.

Anyway, back to my clothes. I see no problem with my shirts. Daddy says I look very professional, and Iris thinks they're cool. Paul says it makes me look dignified, and I don't think my friends in the neighborhood really care. It wouldn't matter if I did, though, because I'm quite attached to them.

* * *

Lilly is trying to impress a boy. Mom got her a purple dress with flowers all over it, and she's wearing it to school. I don't think she should care about boys at nine, but Mom seems to be encouraging it. Dad's on my side. She's so little! I have classmates who could be her parents! Most of them are closer to 21, but a few are in their early thirties. Dad's older, though. Mom is 36, but Dad is 47. Some of my classmates have parents who are around 47.

This is about clothes, though. She's been dressing up for a few weeks now. She's even letting Mom do her hair again, which she stopped doing last year. She's wearing dresses and skirts, which thrills the girly-girl side of Mom to no end. Lil usually wears jeans and t-shirts, and a lot of green. She would throw her hair in pigtails and barrettes, but she's letting Mom actually style that. The craziest part is that she's letting Mom pick out her clothes, and put her in pink. She despises pink! As hard as it is to admit, I think my sister's lost her mind.

* * *

He looks like an eight-year-old punk rocker. Luke has decided only black and crimson suit him, and refuses to wear anything else. His favorite outfit kinda looks steampunk - suspenders, vest, and tie on a button up. He also has long hair pulled to one side. At present, he's trying to get Mom and Dad to let him dye the tips of his hair green.

I don't understand it! When he was a baby, we couldn't get him to keep his clothes on! He stripped at Uncle Shawn and Aunt Abby's when he was four. Then, Mom dressed him in pretty cute clothes. Now, he refuses to wear them! The good news is that with all my cousins, he's got plenty of black and crimson hand-me-downs.

That's the cool thing for me and Iris; all of our clothes are new. Meanwhile, Liam's pajamas belonged to me, Lawson, Gus, Lucas, Chris, Jason, Cameron, Jeffery, and Benji. They held up pretty well, though we had to sew on a few patches in the times of the Spencer boys.

Luke has Mom's eyeliner smeared all over his face. That's it! This ends NOW.

* * *

Liam refuses to take off his Robin costume. He's almost five, now. I'm told he's been wearing it since Dad bought it in late September, and it's almost March. I suppose that's a testament to how busy I've been... I'm in my second year of law school, and between that and dates with Iris, I've really only been home to eat and sleep.

I'm excited about becoming a lawyer. I'd like to be a good and just lawyer like Atticus Finch.

Lilly has finally stopped trying to be something she's not. After three years of dresses and pink, she's finally going back to her true nature-loving self.

Luke got a promise of his hair dye. When he's in high school, he's allowed to put green in his hair. He looks so similar to Dad, yet couldn't be more different.


	10. Taekwondo

**A/N: For anyone that also does Taekwondo, you might have noticed that black belts are with the others here. That's not how it happens for me, but it made sense for the purposes of this fanfiction. Also, this chapter may be boring. I'm not all that inspired recently.**

This is pretty cool stuff. Mom and Dad enrolled the boys in Taekwondo a few years ago. We're here for a belt graduation ceremony, but I'm not entirely sure how these ranks go. This is my first time seeing one. I've been busy with law school, but I just passed the bar and have a little free time until I move up near work.

Obviously, it starts with white belts. They seemed pretty happy up there, kicking and punching in unison. They got these yellow-gold colored belts. Then, the old yellow-gold people did the same thing a little bit more in unison and better looking. They got orange belts. Some little kids in white belts with gold and orange stripes got up there and started to do a lot of the same things as the white and yellow-gold's did. I'm thinking this is the under six class Liam started in, because little Shawn McNab was up there. Uncle Buzz was with the gold belts. He decided to join with Shawn, because Cameron and Benji joined earlier. Shawn is five, and the littlest of all my "cousins." The orange, green, purple, and blue belts got up there and did some sort of dance with punches and kicks. Then the orange belts stepped back, and the others did another dance. Then the greens did the same thing, then the purples; you get the idea. Then they all received green, purple, blue, and blue with a black stripe. This is where I'm confused. The next people to come out had on blue and red belts with and without stripes. I'm not sure who is highest. I know the blue with black stripe belted people are the bottom. I'm pretty sure that after that, it's the red with white belts, then solid reds, then the red with black stripes. They're doing a lot of dances, too, along with some other things. Lucas is with them. He's not very disciplined, so he's only made it to red with a white stripe over the past three years. He seems to be actually trying, now, though. I think he realized how cool it would be to become a black belt before high school. My "cousin" is one of them, too. His name is Gus, and he's a solid red. He and Luke are both here because Aunt Abby and Mom decided it might help them learn discipline. Gus learned it a little faster. Jeff and Jason, Gus' little brothers, are cheering pretty loudly a few seats down from me.

They're receiving their next belts, so now I understand. There is no one in a blue belt left on the stage, but now there are a few in brown belts with a white stripe. Speaking of brown belts, a lot of them just filed onto the stage. Browns with a white stripe, browns, and browns with a green stripe. They're doing the same kind of stuff, but their dances are really long. It can't be easy to have memorized all of that. Chris and Cameron are up there. They're both brown belts. Well, now they've progressed to brown greens. My girlfriend is cheering like crazy next to me; Chris is her little brother. The belts coming on now are brown with a red stripe, brown with a black stripe, and white with a brown stripe. The whites with a brown stripe aren't all small children, though, so it must mean something else.

"The prep cycle belts. They have to put in a lot of work. They're going to be receiving conditional 1st degree black belts, which is what Liam is."

Well, that explains that. Thank God for Lil's need to explain things to her new boyfriend.

Lavender and Leroy are among them. They're my cousins. Lavender is the same age as Luke, but they're not very similar. Uncle Gus was going to enroll them all, but Lawson didn't want anything to do with it. He's sitting near the front with Aunt Lauren, and taking pictures while she films. She does it for the Academy for free so that they can post pictures and clips online. Leroy is 10, and both of my cousins are excited to be getting their prep cycle belts. If what Lilly says is any indication, though, it won't be easy.

The conditionals are coming on stage. Liam is smiling brightly, as is Benji. Ben is seven, and he and his little brother are the only ones around Liam's age. Ben and Liam worked really hard to get to where they are, so they have every right to be proud. They looked like some of, if not _the_, youngest ones up there. Most of the kids look to be around 8 - 10. I think it's pretty crazy to see such little kids doing what they're doing. There are a few adults up there, but most of them are kids.

They're receiving their black belts! After this, they get to come sit and watch the higher black belts perform. Some are going up a progress level according to Lilly. Those who are working toward their second degrees have a colored stripe indicative of their progress level. After that, we will watch the second degree students, and some of the instructors and masters. I'm told the grand master, who is not preforming, is an eighth dan black belt. I'm fairly certain that means eighth degree.

They've all come to sit, so it's time to relax and enjoy the black belts.


	11. Church

**Short and probably not all that interesting, but it's an update. If anyone has ideas, please tell me. I can write them, I just can't seem to think of any.**

* * *

Why do they keep giving Mommy dirty looks? We're in a big place with lots of pretty windows, so they should be happy. I'm just telling Mommy I'm tired. My sounds might not be the same as their sounds, but I think that comes with time. I've only been alive for two months, after all.

I don't like those faces. I've never seen those faces before. They look like mean faces.

Mommy's moving. I love when Mommy's moving. It makes my eyes close, though. And she's making sounds to me. I'm so comfy, I could just...

* * *

Lil is loud. The point of sitting in church is to be quiet, and she doesn't understand that. I guess toddlers aren't the definition of quiet, but I figured it out. I get to start preparing for my first communion soon, and I'm very happy. I can take it when I'm seven, and I'm six. It's a big deal.

I was baptized at a church in Santa Barbara, but this is a different one. I was a baby then. Now we go to Our Lady of Sorrows. Mommy and Daddy started coming here together a few years ago. It was Daddy's church first. He even had his first communion here! Aunt Lauren said she thinks Grandma still has their outfits somewhere in the attic. Except Aunt Susan's and Uncle Vic's because she and Uncle Raul took them for Peter and any possible new babies. Daddy's is still around, though. Aunt Lauren said if she can find it then I can wear it. That would just be the coolest thing EVER! Then I could do my hair like Daddy's and be like Daddy was. Someday, I'm gonna be like just like Daddy.

* * *

Lukie is causing trouble. It's Lilly's first communion, so we're all dressed up really nice. Luke is running all over the place, though, and ruining his clothes. He disrupted the service, and now has multiple adults - Dad included - chasing him around the church. Lilly is crying because this was very important to her, and my mom is trying to comfort her. She got her pretty white dress for her seventh birthday last month, and four-year-old Luke has been dying to get his hands on it ever since. He threw juice at the kids, ruining all of their clothes, so Lil is pretty devastated.

Iris and I are just sitting here quietly. Her mom had to go after Chris, who's three. Chris is a good kid, but he likes commotion. We decided it's because Aunt Karen had to bring him to work all the time. Iris had this cousin that sometimes took care of her, but he went away to nursing school. He's in his early thirties now with his own kids. It wasn't a big problem at first since Iris is eleven like me, and she was in school already six years ago. When Christopher was born, though, Aunt Karen was fighting a lot with Iris's dad, so she had to keep the baby around her. He's not very nice. They got divorced when Chris was still a baby. There's a lot of commotion in the station, though, and he just started school this year.

Lukie has been corralled, and it seems to have been decided that the ceremony will proceed normally. Here's hoping for no more insanity today.

* * *

Liam keeps trying to walk off and talk to people. He started walking a few months ago, and now we can't get him to stop. I'm trying to help Mom, but I can only do so much. I don't command a lot of authority at 13, though Lukie doesn't listen to much of anyone regardless of age. Lil is at a different church with a boy in her class named James that she is all hung up on, and Dad had to go to a seminar in San Fransisco this weekend, so it's just me left to try to get my six-year-old brother to sit still while Mom tries to keep Liam from walking off. Luke keeps trying to throw things at the people in the pews below us, and he has found a lot of pens and Bibles to use as ammunition. Wish me luck!


End file.
